Ugh
tonight started out great but it went downhill way too quickly.

i'd been hanging out at my neighbor's apartment with him and a friend because they're cool to hang out with and they're nice guys. well, they asked me to go with them to this DJ party down the street so i went, i knew other people going so it was cool. i got to hang out with pat and dave while i was there, had a few beers, wound up drunk. they wanted to leave so we went to the library. i don't really know why we went there. it was really, REALLY crowded, i was already drunk, they'd been throwing beers in my face at this point, getting really pushy... when someone says "no, thank you" and then keeps saying "NO, stop", it means stop. i was gonna get sick if i drank anymore. thank you for the offer, but i don't want it anymore. if you're trying to get me drunk to later take advantage of me, you can fuck off, because there is no amount of alcohol that could lead me to that. i don't think that's what the intentions were, but regardless, no means no. i tried to leave the library and go outside to make a phone call for someone to pick me up but a group of guys stopped me and talked to me. i told them i wanted to go home, i was feeling uncomfortable, just not a good night, and i wanted to leave. i don't want you to beat up my neighbors and i don't wanna hang out. granted, you're probably great guys, but you're all drunk and probably are gonna wind up pissing me off even more. thanks for trying. clay came and picked me up and took me home and here i am. i hate being in shitty situations and people keep trying to mess with me when they think it's helping but it's really making it 100 times worse. i just wanna go to sleep.